Past and Present Sins
by howlingwolvesonfire
Summary: Ultear's spell does transform her, but not into an old woman. Now Crime Sorciere has a three-year-old to take care of, and really, none of them should be taking care of children–especially not this one.
1. last ages

**I'm super pumped to be writing again, and especially on this idea. This was inspired in part by a similar idea in a one-shot in a story called _Shorts of the Seis_ and also by indraaas' lovely _Memento Mori_. It'll be drabble-esque, might play around with longer chapters towards the end of this thing. ****Enjoy!**

* * *

_i._

It burned.

She knew there would be a cost–a great cost–but the pain still overtook her almost immediately. A horrible fire spread throughout her body, like she was being consumed by a blaze from within. The pain truly unbearable.

One minute.

That was all the time she had stolen back. A single minute. Had she the strength she would have howled in frustration. A mere minute. Not enough time to change anyone's fate but her own. Dragons still roared above her, screams of allies and enemies alike could still be heard throughout Crocus. She had failed, and her fate was now sealed.

The fire that had pulsed throughout her veins just moments before now seemed to be satisfied with her meager offering and began retreating, going from burning to freezing in an instant. Strangely, along with the lack of heat, she could feel a shift inside herself, as if her body was getting…smaller. Ultear hardly had time to ponder this before she collapsed. Alone. Ashamed. Afraid.

She stayed there, motionless, as the battle for the Eclipse Gate roared and thundered above her, the extra minute she gained back ticking forward once again, as her own body grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller. Until it finally stopped.

* * *

"Jellal! I can't find her! Jellal!" A nearly hysterical Meredy screams at the man, who winces out of pain and frustration. They had been searching since the battle ended with not even a glimpse of the time mage anywhere.

"She must be around here somewhere, keep calm-" but she's already looking away. Something's caught her eye. A small child sits on the broken stone, the cloth draped around it far too big for its toddler body, the dark blue fabric uncomfortably familiar looking. In (her?) hand is a bright white ribbon wrapped carefully around. The child glances over at them.

She's running towards her. He doesn't understand until she cries, "Ultear!"

Dark hair, red eyes widen as Meredy embraces her, sobbing. Jellal can hardly believe it, even as he gets closer, hands trembling. He can see now that she's wrapped in her cloak–Ultear's cloak. It can't be, it can't be.

There's no recognition in her eyes, no glimmer of understanding as she stares at him; but there's no fear either, like she's been waiting this whole time for them without knowing why.

"Where's mama?" Her voice is so quiet. There's no hint of the steadfast, calculating woman he knew, only a child that wished for her mother again. He drops to his knees. Meredy pulls her in closer, the sobs from before showing no signs of stopping.

"Ultear, what did you do?" Jellal's voice is barely a whisper, and despite himself, he can feel a tear begin to flow.

The little girl looks at the man on his knees and then the woman crying and holding her before looking at the pale morning sky. It smells of a new day. She wonders when she'll get to see her mama again.


	2. remembering

_ii._

The first week was perhaps the most difficult, not in terms of child-rearing but in simply deciding what they were going to do.

Jellal was against any notion of keeping the now toddler Ultear. "We don't even know if she _knows_ us Meredy, she barely talks and I won't be liable for _child endangerment_ anymore than I already am."

"I'm not abandoning her! I can take care of her myself!" Meredy proclaimed while the child in question sat in the field they had stopped in for a break. Oblivious to the grown-ups arguing, she picked at the dandelions spotting the open field.

"Meredy, we _can't_ run an independent guild and fight criminals if we constantly have a three-year-old to think about in the back of our head. We can leave her in a safe place, a nice village, and eventually, she'll forget about us-"

The emotion mage bellowed, "I don't want her to forget!" Jellal took a step back, shocked a the sheer intensity bubbling over inside of Meredy. Tears filled the corners of her eyes as she repeated, much quieter, "I don't want her to forget."

A hand tugged at the edge of her cape. Ultear's pudgy toddler fingers held a bright yellow dandelion, wrapped around and tied in a bracelet. Her wrist already bore one. "For you," she said.

Meredy could hardly hold back the tears as she slipped on the crudely made bracelet and embraced Ultear, who at this point anticipated the crushing hugs Meredy gave and embraced in return. Jellal could only watch solemnly as he turned away, exhausted from arguing and not willing to continue on in Ultear's sight.

He wondered how long it could last.


	3. routine

_iii._

Jellal and Meredy, quicker than even they could have anticipated, fell into a new routine.

Having a three-year-old in tow meant having a meticulous schedule–even more so than before.

Ultear required more frequent breaks, as her tiny body could–at the best of times–barely keep up with the two adults. While normally pleasantly quiet and obedient for her age, the toddler would grow into a cranky fury if she hadn't napped all day. Jellal and Meredy took turns carrying her on their backs to rest (Meredy even later fashioning a sling to carry her in, making her the much preferred option to Ultear).

The breaks also grew longer, as Ultear stopped to play in the nearby forests or sit in a field quietly picking flowers with Meredy. Jellal made it a point to not interact with her for extended periods of time; his mindset still firmly that getting overly attached to this new version of Ultear could only lead to trouble. Meredy promptly ignored his gloomy attitude and doted on her small mother figure as much as she was able.

Food also caused them delay, as Meredy frequented towns more often for food that wasn't the wildlife in the forests or the natural herbs and berries they had picked from before. (Jellal wasn't fond of the idea of risking capture for bread, but they'd been fighting enough lately so he let just one more thing slide.)

When traveling, they fell naturally into certain spots. From a distance, they could almost be read as a family unit. Jellal at the head of the line, ever diligent to the danger around them, while Meredy grasped Ultear's hand as the two of them plodded behind Jellal's lead. It was only if someone grew close that they could see the cracks beginning to show. The bags under their eyes (even more so than before), the tight line constantly plastered on Jellal's face as he watches the two girls advance slowly, too slowly; as they had been since Ultear joined them. Even Meredy, for her bright smiles, is far more tired than usual, her energy being used upon Ultear more than herself nowadays.

But it's not until they settle down to camp at night with Ultear sleeping soundly in her lap that Meredy breaks a little bit; the tears she promised not to show her springing up at the corners of her eyes while she pats Ultear's soft black hair as she sleeps. She cries out of stress and out of fear; because she cannot admit that deep down, she acknowledges his concerns. She'll be damned if she admits that he's right (making her wrong). She has to remain strong. For both of them now.

Jellal does not comfort her. How can he, if he won't even look her in the eyes much anymore.

So they take turns sleeping next to her and going on watch, and in the morning, they'll get up and fall back into their places.

A happy little family…if only from a distance.

* * *

**Don't worry folks, Meredy's flagrant child endangerment has not gone unnoticed (not by a long shot). It might take someone else at the point to confront her, however...**

**Also if you could blease be so kind as to review! It's like nourishment to the soul I tell ya.**


	4. disaster

_iv._

More than two months in, disaster almost strikes.

They aren't paying attention, or maybe they were but on the wrong things. A child's shriek is all they get before they see Ultear being whisked away by one of the dark mages from the dark guild they were taking out in the area.

It's dark with rolling clouds overhead. Woods as far as the eye could see but trees so narrow and far apart it was no wonder they found her hiding. Jellal moves to take aim at the kidnapper, mind already racing with the worst possible outcomes of this fight. Before he can do anything, however, a screech of pain erupts from the attempted kidnapper's mouth as he falls to the ground, flinging Ultear a few feet away. A bright pink maguility line circles around his arm as he collapses.

Jellal takes the opportunity to dash over and scoop up Ultear before calling, "Retreat!" Meredy grits her teeth and stops her assault on the dark mage she had linked to the kidnapper and runs in Jellal's direction. Eager for a reason to flee, the remaining dark guild members decide not to take any more chances and run in the opposite direction.

* * *

Jellal pants. They've lost them. Or where they even being followed in the first place?

The weight in his arms reminds him of the reason they fled and he can feel the frustrations of the past couple months once again build inside him, until….

She's crying. Not the tantrum cries he's grown used to, or the occasional cry from falling down or getting hurt, but this is just full on sobbing. Her tiny fists close tight around his undershirt and he realizes that he's holding on just as tight. He drops to his knees and wheezes, completely out of breath.

Meredy stumbles in just behind him, already reaching towards Ultear's tiny shaking body. Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she pants, "I-Is she ok?"

"She's-" Jellal stops from answering to look down at the child in his arms and then at the woman whom he risks life and limb with every day. He steadies himself, not letting go of Ultear as she continues to cry against him.

"I don't know if she is, but we're not going to be if this happens again. Meredy." He looks his partner dead in the eye, "if this child is to stay we need to make some more changes," his own eyes flicker a dangerous intensity, "soon."

* * *

**I just realized Meredy cries at the end of all of these so far. Everyone gets a little break from tears from tears next chapter I promise lol.**


	5. seis

_v._

"A child?!"

Cobra can't help but sound incredulous, and Jellal doesn't blame him one bit. They had learned their lesson, so before confronting the Oracion Seis, they hid her a fair bit away from their intended contact point. Personally, Jellal would have bet they wouldn't have tried to hurt her in exchange for any sort of bargaining, but Meredy was already paranoid enough as is.

Now that they were all on the same side, however….

"Yes, and she's staying with us," he looks Cobra dead in the eye, "non-negotiable."

The dragonslayer bares his fangs in a disgusted sneer, "I thought you were over child endangerment Jel-" Before he can finish his sentence Meredy is between the two of them, green eyes trained on Cobra.

"Ultear is *my* responsibility first and foremost, so if you have a problem with it," she takes a heavy step forward, "tell *me* about it."

"Ultear? Ultear? You named the kid after her? Or was she born unlucky enough to share the same name as that bit-" Again, before he can finish Meredy's pummeling him with her fists. He snarls and glares at her but surprisingly doesn't lash out himself.

"It's…not quite like that Erik." Jellal's eyes wander over to Ultear, who looks up at the rest of the Oracion Seis members not twenty feet away in awe. They stare back with a mixture of uncomfortableness and curiosity. Cobra's single eye also drifts over, and it's only when he stops to listen that the dots connect.

"You mean to tell me that's really…"

A nod from Jellal is all he gets. "Meredy, stop hitting our newest members. We have to…explain this."

* * *

**Thinking future updates will come in batches of five (like these first five) spread out over a week (Monday-Friday). Earliest next batch would be the week after next. We'll be getting some introspection on the situation from each of the new babysitters-er, guild members.**

**Also to quickly answer the question of a Guest...I highly doubt before any point in which he's pardoned would Jellal want to burden someone with the raising of a child if he's not there to help them (in canon and definitely in this fic). Along with Meredy's reasons for taking in Ultear, I'll probably also end up exploring why Jellal goes along with her even though it's practically self-sabotage. Things to look forward to!**

**As always thanks for reading and please review! **


	6. erik

_vi._

Erik was irritated.

Now, it could be argued that Erik was _always_ irritated in some form. Ever since Cubellios was lost he went from "arrogant" to "pissy" real fast (at least according to Sorano, who, for the record, has never been right about him his whole life).

But this was different.

People's minds were like Rubik's cubes; even if they were all messed up in the beginning, with enough tinkering about he could see the patterns and "solve" the puzzle of their thoughts and personality.

Ultear was like a Rubik's cube that he had to solve colorblind. Technically possible, but mind-numbingly frustrating if there was no one there to tell him what was what. And, well…

He mentioned to Jellal it was much the same when he had first awoken at Nirvana. With no clear memories it became harder to depict the inner voice of someone. The calmer and more understanding they were about themselves the better Erik could get a read on them. Without them, sure, he could get a read on how someone was feeling, but their intent got lost more easily in all the other noise swimming through their mind. With Ultear Junior, it wasn't that she didn't have any memories, more that–

"She's a toddler who can barely form sentences, all of her thoughts are of you two dimwits."

Well, at first they were. Now, occasionally, they pulled up other such images, like Richard, or Macbeth, or even himself. The little tyke had taken shockingly little time to grow used to her new companions and now seemed to think of them all quite fondly. Well...unless he pulled a face, which almost guaranteed to send her packing (and a glare from her overbearing "mother"). She still hung around those two the most but...it was plain to see she didn't mind the other's company.

He tried probing a little more once, (as a "friendly request" from Jellal) to see if something would bubble up when he was paying closer attention. He rarely interacted with anyone aged lower than himself so it became an interesting challenge to guess what she might be thinking given her limited vocabulary. At the edge of her thoughts, however, he felt a heavy presence that instantly made him blanch. It was only for an instant, but he felt the same dark force he had witnessed (and tried to ignore) so often while they were with Brain. It was enough to get him to stop prying and to start snapping at Jellal whenever he mentioned trying again.

It was hilarious. Him, a grown man capable, willing, and accomplished in murder, reduced to base fears by a _toddler_. A toddler, by all accounts, who also murdered and slain countless numbers of people.

He couldn't bear to try and sift through more of her mind, but he was also aware of what might happen if he didn't. Ultear had once been one of the most powerful mages on the continent. If even a part of that woman was to resurface underneath the façade of youth...

He shuddered to imagine what was in store for all of them.

* * *

**I'm back...back again...and speaking of things that are back...**

**CoLu week is on for its sixth(!) year this June! Prompts and dates in my profile via dragonshost! I have always lamented on only actively participating in one CoLu week, but this year I may have a few surprises...**

**Anyways, make sure to leave a review! After this next batch I'm taking suggestions for scenarios for this little group so keep those in mind as we go through these! **


	7. sorano

_vii._

Sorano couldn't quite put her finger on just what about the child ticked her off so much. Of course, she could have easily listed off half a dozen or more things that _annoyed_ her. Like the way Meredy doted over her in that squeaky, overly motherly sounding voice. Or how Jellal often not so subtly gave her more responsibility over the little pipsqueak than all her male teammates. Or even the fact that despite that, she appeared to someone get along with her the _worst_.

Yeah, that must be it.

It was infuriating enough to be the one most called upon to babysit, but at least the toddler could have _reacted_ to her instead of shyly clinging to Meredy whenever she was around. It didn't even make any sense since she seemed to watch almost everyone else around her to some extent. Seriously. This is why she didn't like kids.

It was probably for the best though.

Sorano couldn't deny that despite the utter absurdity to the situation there wasn't a small part of her that felt nostalgic when looking at the child. Her own younger sister had been only a few years older when they had been ripped apart by circumstances beyond their control. Despite spending relatively little time with her compared to most of the people in her life, she still held some of the fondest memories during the peaceful period.

So it's probably for the best that she still can't stand her.

Sometimes, she doesn't. Those are the most vulnerable times. The times where she's putting up her hair to keep it out of the way, or helping Meredy bathe her, or the rare time Ultear sat close beside her and picked a handful of flowers for her. Because this is when she thinks.

That maybe she would be able to see her sister again.

And that is what ticks Sorano off the most.


	8. richard

_viii._

Richard couldn't help but feel a little stuck.

When the two Crime Sorciere members had shown up and Jellal strongarmed the rest of his former comrades into joining, Richard had set aside his desire to go reunite with his brother in exchange for helping the independent guild enact their goals. It was not a decision he made lightly, but it was one he made with traces of regret. He had always been good at reasoning himself into situations he would rather not be in, and this was no exception.

And that was _before_ he learned about Ultear.

The tiny child clung to Meredy as Jellal explained the predicament to the rest of the new crew. Erik and Sawyer wore faces of suppressed irritation, Sorano's had been full of shock, and Macbeth gave a rare quizzical look.

Richard hoped he hadn't looked too aghast.

From what he gathered from the explanation, not only were the two of them fully aware of the dangers in having her around, but Meredy looked ready to kill anyone who protested. Her expression and stance indicated a sort of maternal bond that bordered on obsessive.

Yet Jellal looked in no part to stop her.

Richard faintly hoped that he had tried to reason with her previously before giving up. For everything that had been done to him under the Tower he wanted to give the man who spared his friend's lives a sliver of trust; especially if they were to be traveling together for the near future. Even for someone who now preached on the feeling of love, he was not so generous as to completely overlook all wrongs.

Maybe that was why he volunteered to help Meredy more often than the others. Nobody really objected (because they didn't want to or because they knew he would be better…he didn't think about it too much), so he was able to get a better grasp on the nature of the tiny Ultear.

For all intents and purposes she acted like a normal toddler, often wandering off when out of eye-sight or otherwise unattended. She was wary of him at first but gradually opened up, often motioning to be held on top of his head after he picked her up once and let her see over a ravine they were traveling alongside. Her small hands grasped at his hair and he felt like a giant in comparison.

Meredy was much harder to pin down. From what he understood (and the slight bits he remembered when they were all part of the Balam Alliance), Meredy was extremely attached to the grown-up Ultear, obviously enough to make her downright demonic to the idea of leaving her someplace else. She begrudgingly accepted his and the other's help, possibly more out of fatigue from parenting than true trust given the bags under her eyes. From the way she snapped at Erik to the tired smiles she gave Jellal it was clear she was on edge constantly around the subject.

So he tried to be as helpful as he possibly could. He knew that being genuine, instead of callous, was the way to get her to open up to him and others more.

Because one day, he was thinking of having a word with her about all of this.


	9. sawyer

_ix._

Out of all of them, Sawyer was perhaps the most confused by the recent development. He understood _who_ she was, it was the how and why that boggled him. Even with all of the crazy magical happenings he'd seen, a fully grown woman turning into a child felt too much to process.

(Brain had always emphasized speed with everything he had taught him; an unfortunate side effect being that more complicated magical theory and such weren't often brought up. Mostly so that he could focus on what would make him _stronger_, _faster_.)

Still, he didn't have to understand to be annoyed by her very presence. It was irritating. Being _slow_. For a _child_. (Yes, he noticed the hypocriticalness of it all. No, it did not make him any less irritated.)

They were on a strict schedule with her, one that demanded patience he was not willing to give. He didn't sign up for babysitting of all things (had he, really, signed up for anything at all?).

Even more frustrating was watching the others. In the beginning, they all had complained, made known their collective annoyance. Now? They were beginning to tolerate her, accept her, _get along with her_.

Well, not him.

In terms of sheer bullheadedness, it would be easy to say that Macbeth or even Erik had a good head start on him. But in the early days, it was always him who was the one to try, stubbornly, to escape and always, always, always fail.

In the beginning, he had even thought that it was part of the reason Brain had chosen him. The unflinching desire to do whatever it took, to go as far as he needed to gain the power necessary to be free.

What a load of garbage.

Still, if there was one thing his stubborn streak could be used for productively, it could be to wear them down. He could wear the façade of having begrudgingly accepted her but still bear the resentment he held from day one. It was only a matter of time before the cracks would show and he would be the first one to suggest giving her up when it happened.

(Somewhere deep inside, the thought occurred that he may, in fact, be _jealous_ of the former criminal who had been given a miraculous second chance and was now being doted upon by adults. He kept that one under lock and key in case it ever decided to bubble to the surface.)

It was probably for the best, then, that Ultear rarely went to him as she did for the others. Best to keep such things at arm's length, especially those that were doomed to fall apart sooner or later.

So Sawyer watched her as the others watched her. But he also waited. Waited for the burden of her to finally reach the others. (The only question is, who would crack first?)


	10. macbeth

_x._

It surprised no one more than Macbeth himself when he first noticed the toddler oddly following him whenever he went off by himself to nap.

It certainly SCARED him the first time he dozed off only to be awoken by the Ultear head butting him as she laid down next to him (he would never admit it to the others of course). Things were already tense as they were with the main group, no need to stir up even more trouble (at least, trouble that he couldn't accurately use to his advantage).

Macbeth had tried to avoid thinking about it too hard. In his head, he and the others had lost, so if taking care of this child was indeed "penance" then who was he to fight back? (Or, what's the point of fighting if you're only going to lose in the end?)

Still, he had expected Ultear to be wary of them, not attempt to snuggle up with him when he seemed to least expect it. It was almost uncanny how a three-year-old could possess such stealth, yet at other times threaten to blow out Erik's eardrums with her tantrums.

Meredy had been _furious_ when she found out–as she made no means to hide that she easily trusted him the _least_ out of all of them. Macbeth took no measures to gain her trust, merely remarking that if the maguility mage didn't want her next to him she should be keeping a closer eye on her in the first place.

And he thought he had perfected the "if looks could kill" face.

None of this stopped Ultear from occasionally following him beyond the camp borders to where he liked to nap. After a month he got better (only a little) at telling if she was approaching. The thought crossed his mind to dissuade her with a brief illusion, but even he knew the consequences of what might happen should that turn into nightmares.

(Children were sensitive and this one? Perhaps even more so than anyone else suspected.)

So he pretended to be asleep, pretended not to notice her curling up beside him, and pretended to pretend that it wasn't kind of nice to have the small head on his lap.

Somehow, Meredy always found them like this, and no matter how many times she scolded the tiny Ultear and no matter how many times she nodded as if she understood perfectly, she kept coming back.

Almost like…she enjoyed napping with him?

The ridiculousness of it all might have been the only thing keeping Macbeth from denying the girl one of the small comforts he always wanted–peaceful sleep.

* * *

**A/N: And that's a wrap on this arc! Now that we've gotten everyone's initial reactions out of the way things will finally begin progressing as a group! I have most of the "arcs" planned out but if anyone has any suggested scenarios to write leave a review and tell me them! (and just leave a review in general you guys I crave feedback)**

**Be on the lookout for the next set, the CoLu stories, and other stuff soon! **


	11. new status quo

_xi._

Almost a month had passed since the old Oracion Seis members joined Crime Sorciere and the reality of taking care of a toddler as well as being part of an independent guild now seemed fully intertwined within everyone's mind.

Call it what you will, but twenty-one days make a habit, and they have been putting up with Ultear for almost thirty now.

Their routine finely tuned to the child, the other members said shockingly little about her if they weren't the ones taking care of her at the moment. Although there were still glances, glares, and scoffs, it was nowhere near the hostility levels following their initial joining.

Perhaps that's why, for the first time since she found Ultear, Meredy appeared visibly relaxed.

This was enough to cause a small stir amongst the new members, especially those who had berated Meredy the hardest and felt the full brunt of her motherly affection.

It was small, at first, Meredy no longer threw sideways glances at Sorano or Richard whenever they offered (or were forced to) help. Slowly, this grew to actively asking for help and quickly blossomed into leaving them strictly in charge during certain times while she relaxed or consulted with Jellal.

Besides the occasional death glare towards Macbeth (who Meredy could barely stand Ultear being next to), she did nothing to actively stop the other members from interacting or helping her.

So thus became the new routine, a quiet, steady pace that was perfect for breeding contentment.

A contentment Jellal just couldn't justify as healthy, no matter how hard he wanted to.

* * *

**A/N: Time to expand a bit on some ideas stated in the previous batch! Have an idea for a scenario? Drop it down below and let me know what you think of the rest of the story!**


	12. siblings

_xii._

Sorano didn't mean to butt in to things Richard didn't want to talk about, but she was never very good at not voicing every thought in her head, so one morning when the two of them were alone with Ultear she asked.

"Do you like taking care of her?"

Richard didn't answer for a minute, not even looking her way as he stared at Ultear, who was sitting on his lap picking petals off a flower.

"I don't dislike it…or rather, I don't dislike this child, oh yeah."

Sorano blinked in surprise, "Really? You seemed pretty gung-ho about helping in the beginning."

"That was just my way of trying to be useful. Nothing good would come from any more unnecessary fighting, yeah."

He looked at Ultear again, who was now dangerously close to falling asleep in his lap. "Besides…I feel I understand my older brother a bit more now. I was around this age when he had to start taking care of me by himself."

Sorano stiffened as he spoke. She too, was around that age when…

Sorano shook her head at the thought. It was a small mercy she was with Richard and not Sawyer, or worse yet Erik. They would poke and prod at the issue, they all knew. They all knew, and she hated that.

"For what it's worth…" she whispered as the wind picked up, "I hope you find him one day."

Richard smiled. "Thank you."

The fact he didn't say "you too" was yet another small mercy from him.

One that Sorano pretended she didn't need to have.


	13. favorites

_xiii._

"I'm telling you, she keeps following me out to where I sleep. Like she likes napping next to me."

"If you didn't look so distressed I'd say you're full of it."

The two speaking–a reflector mage with a perturbed look on his face and a poison dragon struggling not to roll his eyes–sat together during one of the scheduled break times. Somehow, without even trying very hard, the topic went in the direction of the young Ultear. Specifically after Macbeth mentioned having to keep one eye out for her as he slept.

"I really do wish she wouldn't do that…"

"So? Make her. Conjure up, I don't know, a Vulcan or something and drive her off."

The silence and lowering of his friend's head made Erik sigh in exasperation. "Fine, so you don't want to incur the wrath of the pink witch, just hide better. Climb some trees if you have too."

"…I tried hiding myself with my magic, but she ended up finding me anyway." He said in a whisper, causing Erik's eyes to go wide in shock.

"Damn that's creepy…you know, if you're not careful, she's going to think that Ultear favors you."

Macbeth's own eyes went wide in horror, the idea of the child favoring him clearly the last revelation he wanted to have. Just as he was about to speak again, a high pitched squeal broke out behind him as tiny arms collided with his back. A voice called out, "Ma-beth! Help!"

It was the object of his conflicting emotions, the tiny Ultear, quivering behind his back.

"Ultear! You're eating all that we gave you, or there won't be any-" Meredy paused from speaking as she ran up to Ultear to take in the scene before her. Namely, the toddler clinging to the back of the person she most warned her not to go near. Macbeth, for his part, didn't look all that pleased either as he tried to explain.

"Meredy, just take her-" In turning around to speak, he executed the fatal mistake of exposing his front, where Ultear immediately abandoned his back and put her arms around his chest, burying herself there with a death grip. Meredy's eyes flared up in a rage, and the two began arguing.

Erik did nothing to help or hurt the situation, rather, his eyes were drawn to the child clinging to his friend. He hadn't doubted Macbeth's tales of their shared nap times, but it seemed that he hadn't registered the depth of her affection towards Macbeth. He frowned, wondering what she saw in him that was different from even Meredy, as the two in question continued to speak over each other. Almost unintentionally ignoring the child they argued so desperately about.


	14. nightmares

_xiv._

It was the middle of the night when he heard it. Amidst the cacophony of other night sounds and the rhythms of his teammates, this sound stood out like thunder.

He was on watch, trying to see if he still remembered all the constellations in the area when a wail echoed out into the night. Startled, he whipped around to confront the noise only to hear gentle cooing coming from the same direction. His sensitive ears hadn't picked out a wild animal or an unlucky third-party, but merely Ultear having a nightmare.

He sagged his shoulders in irritation and marched up to the tent, ready to rip open the front and let Meredy know that it didn't matter if a dark guild was fifty _miles_ away; they surely heard the pathetic cries of the child.

He never got that far.

As his hand brushed the tent walls and he heard Meredy gently console the toddler, his mind instinctively went to Ultear, the past few weeks of him watching and observing her causing him to naturally pull deeper into her mind.

A harsh, heavy feeling suddenly weighed down upon him. A feeling of sharp pain, like needles. Being tied down, being _helpless_, a feeling of burning magic lit and all your nerves on fire. A maddening, insidious chuckle that Erik could still perfectly recall all those years later now echoed in Ultear's skull.

It was Brain.

Well, not _exactly_ Brain. But the darkness that clouded his mind was the same heavy, oppressive presence he felt when under that man for so long. The same presence he taught, no, beat into himself to ignore, to brush off. If he wanted to live he needed to tolerate it. If he wanted to live he needed to _accept_ it.

That same heavy presence that now bore down on the toddler's fragile psyche.

He stood deathly still by the tent. Breathing heavy, eyes swimming under the pressure, hand quivering ever so slightly. He didn't even realize how off-balance he was until he took a step back and nearly tripped.

Erik shakily sat back down on the log he used for watch and tried to calm his breathing. In the tent, Meredy's gentle voice eventually put Ultear back to sleep, her mind letting go of the darkness in favor of the warmth of Meredy's arms. But Erik had no such company out on his watch. Only the stars and the pale moonlight to watch him unravel.

He wondered if they knew. He wondered if they really knew.


	15. reflections

_xv._

The seasons were slowly starting to change as Ultear washed her face by the river. The water was cold, colder than it was even a week before. Ultear knew Mom would scold her for staying by the rushing water for so long, but she enjoyed the cool feeling on her skin. For some reason, it was comforting to her.

It was a little while since the new people started traveling with her and Mom and the man with the red mark on his face. Ultear had been scared of them and hid behind Mom as the marked man introduced them one by one. Most of them glared at Ultear, making her feel uneasy.

Mom didn't seem too happy about it either, from how she glared right back at them, shielding Ultear. Mom was the only person who looked kindly at Ultear, and the only one who sat beside her whenever she cried.

The new people looked scary, but the red-marked man said they wouldn't hurt her. Ultear didn't really trust him, but if Mom was ok with it she wouldn't put up a fuss.

Eventually, she came to understand the new people. She realized they felt a lot like her Mom and the marked man. They might look scary, sure, but more often than not they would help her if she needed it. One of them (the biggest person she'd ever seen) even gave her piggyback rides and played with her. His smile made her feel warm and…strangely loved. The prickly curly topped girl still didn't seem to like her very much, but she did brush her hair more gently than Ultear remembered even Mom doing so.

The sleepy man with two shades of hair who napped outside of the camp Ultear felt especially fond of. He wore warm furs underneath the hoods the rest of the members wore, and she found him especially warm to sleep next to. She had trouble finding him a few times since he usually napped outside of the camp, but she always found him in the end. No matter how disappointed Mom looked when she found her, she kept coming back, probably because she knew Mom wouldn't be able to stop her until it was too late.

The man with the long limbs and pointy nose still glared at her even to this day, and she avoided eye contact as much as possible. The one who really scared her though…was the man with one eye. He was always looking at her, and even though he only had one eye, the intensity was still enough to make her want to hide behind Mom every time. Lately, though she hadn't felt him stare at her so much. Actually, it seemed that he was trying to _avoid_ her, which Ultear didn't mind one bit. Not if she could spend more time with Mom.

Mom…

Why was it so strange to call her that?

Ultear blinked and shook her head at the strange thought. It wasn't strange at all. Mom was Mom. She felt like a Mom, and she did all the things a Mom was supposed to do. How could she not be her Mother?

Then…did that make the man with the strange mark her father?

Her face puffed up at the thought. No way. He wasn't her dad. In fact, if anyone was her dad…

Suddenly, her Mom called out, "Ul! Finish up and come here please!"

Ultear obeyed, shouting, "Comin!" as she rushed back towards Mom.

Back towards the arms waiting to embrace her. Her Mother.

* * *

**A/N: Forgot to say so yesterday but this fic's a year old! Wow! Let's hope we can finish it up before year two! **

**Some new things were introduced and I ended up moving what was supposed to be this chapter onto the next batch, so watch out for that. Now, since CoLu week is up next week, I'll be putting this on hold to finish up those and then work on a couple other pieces. So look out for this returning on July 6th! I'm crossing my fingers we'll be able to do Mon-Fri every week until the end. Thanks for sticking around/checking this out.**

**Review down below if you have any thoughts, or want a specific scenario for one of the batchs! Catch y'all back here then!**


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